Manhood from a Young Lady's Perpective

Sincerely, One of Many Girls Who Care

Are you a boy?
I’m sorry.
Not sorry that you’re a boy… That’s awesome.
I’m sorry that you see hundreds of advertisements every week showing half-dressed women.
I’m sorry every time you go to the beach or your neighborhood pool you can’t look in any direction without seeing a girl basically in her underwear.
Or that you can’t scroll through Instagram on “women crush wednesdays” or any day for that matter without an airbrushed girl in a thong staring you down.
Or that your buddy showed you that one magazine when you were 9 and you’ve never forgotten that moment because that was the first time you first saw a completely naked woman.
When I think about the guys in my life who are striving to live with a pure and Godly mindset, it honestly breaks my heart that they’re surrounded with so much temptation.
I think about my 22 year old brother, David, and the fight he is fighting every day for his future wife.
I think about the middle school boys in my youth group who don’t seem to have a clue how destructive this lustful lifestyle they are checking out is.
But most of all, I think about the man I’m going to marry.
Not only are you surrounded with a world that’s obsessed with worthless, cheap sex and relationships that mean nothing outside of sexual appeal, you’re encouraged to take part in seeing women as only objects of sex and instant pleasure. All the sports reporters are drop dead gorgeous. All the news anchors. Any girl that’s used for any kind of advertising. I wouldn’t be surprised if its all you can think about.
Its like every guy judges you based off of how hot your girlfriend is.
And maybe you’re so consumed with trying to be a “man” that you’d put up with the most annoying, possessive, selfish girl if she was really hot. Because that’s all that really matters right?
Or maybe you’re not putting up with a girl right now who really isn’t annoying, possessive, and selfish. Maybe you’re with a really sweet and pretty girl but you know deep down inside, if you’re honest, she’s not striving after God nearly the way she’s striving after you. You can’t fulfill the role of God for her. That’s just not fair for you and definitely not healthy for her.
And I haven’t even tapped into pornography. 
Porn. The fantasy world where men’s desires are cast as first and foremost the most important thing in the whole world. And where women are cast as objects of sex and instant pleasure in order to fulfill that need at anytime, in any way, with any women you could dream of. An industry where both women and men are lied to about their health safety, and usually take drugs to suppress the emotional trauma that happens on set. Where over 121 porn stars have died from aids, suicide, homicide, drugs, and premature death since 2007. [1]
Porn. What 50% of men and 20% of women IN THE CHURCH look at regularly. [1]
Where according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 58% of divorces were a result of a spouse looking at excessive amounts of pornography online in 2003. [1]
Porn. The industry that makes over $97 billion revenue worldwide, $13 billion in the U.S. alone.[2]
…which is more than the revenues of the top technology companies combined: Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, and Earthlink[2]

…which is more than NFL, NBA, and MLB’s revenues in 2012 combined.[3]
Pornography destroys. It becomes an addiction and distorts the way you see your sisters in christ, and eventually your wife.
But enough with the pity party I’ve managed to throw for you.
ENOUGH to all the lies thrown your way about how you CAN’T be good enough for a Godly girl or more importantly, God’s grace.
ENOUGH to allowing the pornography industries treating your temptations and natural desires as a way to lavish themselves in money.
ENOUGH to the petty girl who you have been beating yourself up for.
Don’t you think you’d want to wait for a girl who will encourage you on your walk with God? Who will work in protecting your purity? Who will Respect you and encourage you to follow your dreams? Who will see you as redeemed? Who will be by your side during the good AND bad?

Too often, it is girls who are told not to settle for a guy. But guys, the same thing goes for you. Don’t waste your time and emotions on a girl who really could care less about you and just wants you for what you will do for her. You too deserve someone who will see you as amazing and treat you accordingly.

Do not conform. God’s will is good and acceptable and perfect.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
Keep God’s words and treasure his commandments to withstand her temptation.
My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you; keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call insight your intimate friend, to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words. Proverbs 7:1-27
God will provide a way to escape.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 corinthians 10:13
Sin will have no dominion over you.
So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:11-14

Don’t let any mistakes in your past discourage you from believing you can start clean. Choose to leave a life of lust behind and start today if you haven’t. You are going to be blessed beyond words and avoid so much heart break.
All things will work together for your good
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.Romans 8:28
He will give you the desires of your heart
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
You’ll be Blessed.
.. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.Deuteronomy 28:1-68

MEN STRIVING FOR PURITY: May I just say how proud I, and so many other girls, are of you?
Thank you. You are truly a light in this dark world. A protector of women, and a buckler for your future family. Thank you for loving your sisters in Christ the way the Jesus would. And for treating us with respect. It is men like you who make us want to be better women in God. It is so easy to settle for someone who is not a strong christian because we forget that there are guys like you who truly see us as precious and worthy of your respect. Please be encouraged. Keep fighting. We need you.

Sincerely, one of many girls who really do care.
Sources:
Original blog post from:
 http://bemalleable.wordpress.com/2013/12/31/sincerely-one-of-many-girls-who-care/
[1]-https://www.shelleylubben.com/stats
[2]-http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html
[3]http://www.plunkettresearch.com/sports-recreation-leisure-market-research/industry-statistics

Learning Opportunities

We are going to Haiti!

Not all of us. Luke and Hannah and I are going for a week in October.

While getting immersed into the Caribbean culture, we will be helping some in the medical clinic run by some of our team. The rest of the time we will assist a local church in their rebuilding efforts.

I have longed for the day when we can serve others together as a family, and here they are. If you have some things that you really want to teach your kids, you have to provide or take advantage of the opportunities that arise.

Wanting your kids to grasp the value of serving others and/or serving in a foreign environment does not just happen. When I was notified that there was an opportunity to go with a group from or Tennessee District, I said, "sign us up!"

Make a list of the things that are really important for your family's character- things that you really want your kids to get. Invest your time and energies. From that list begin to make the opportunities become realities because soon they will be flying away on their own paths

Keeping Up Morale In Your Family

It seems that many families that I know are in some kind of adjustment. Financial conditions, moving, graduates leaving home for college, new babies and changes in job situations force us to adjust. Change is usually painful in one way or another. How do we as parents cope? How do we help our children keep encouraged along the way, too?

*Keep perspective- Life is not only where you are today, but it is going somewhere. I can be patient through difficult times if I know we are working towards the better. Chemotherapy taught me that.

*Keep plugging at it- Discouragement can easily cause us to change quit, and in some things there needs to be a weighing out of the results. How often though do we quit when success was just around the corner?

*Keep remembering- God knows and cares about everything we are involved in. We can give to Him the burden of our circumstances, and find peace in the realization that we belong to Him and He will see us through. Trust in Him. He will direct your path. Even if you cannot see it God is working.

*Keep showing it- Our kids are not only suffering at their level, but their watching you for lessons on how to deal with it. Show them that our joy is not determined by our circumstances. There are gifts from God that are great blessings. Be joyful in trials. Be real. Talk of faith in God and back it up in your conversations and in your outlook.

*Keep celebrating- Past victories make great songs for the present trial. Look at the psalms. many of them are reminders of God's faithfulness through the past. They are encouragement for the present.

So as a parent lead the way in pointing out the good, having fun and creating good memories out of the hard situation. Remember, the current difficulty will be a opportunity to thank God in the future.

Keep looking up!

Wii Have Finally Done It!

Unbelievable. Inconceivable. Could it be? Yes, the Ayers family has broken the "family entertainment" barrier. What happened?

Wii have entered the digital world of game systems that allows you to become a pro bowler, golfer, baseball player, tennis star or whatever else a $20-$100 game will buy.

What Wii have also discovered is that these game systems make great teaching tools for children (well, for me too). Wii have discussed patience, taking turns, sharing, taking care of expensive things and wasting time in life.

Wii have had some great fun together and wii are learning some valuable lessons.

If you can guess from the hidden clues in this post which game system wii bought, I will send you a free mp3 audio that talks about three really important ingredients to your family life.

Email your answer to me, and I will get that audio to you.

A Family Response To Crisis

The economic crisis deepens. How are you affected? A better question is how are you responding?

In the last few months there have been stories of extremes in the U.S.

One family found shot to death before which the father had faxed a TV station saying, "...my wife felt it better to end our lives; and why leave our children in someone else's hands ... we have no job and 5 children under 8 years with no place to go. So here we are." -CNN's Stan Wilson, Ashley Broughton and Paul Vercammen contributed to this report; Wed January 28, 2009


How sad can it get? How hopeless?

Does it have to be like that? On the other hand, I saw a report of a family with five children, and a mom who lost her job. Their response was to take in their friends and neighbors who were struggling financially. They had received similar help when they were in need different times, and now they want to give back.

I am not going to pretend to have the answers to every situation. I am broken over the thought that parents would feel so desperate as to take their own lives as well as the lives of their children. Let's learn to find purpose and hope in times that get desperate. Let's not give up. Every struggle is an opportunity to prove the faithfulness of God. Every action and reaction is a lesson for our children to experience with us.

Thoughtfully,
Bryan

They Still Touch My Life

How much influence should my parents have on me now that I am 40?

You probably the saw the tribute that I did for my father who passed away in January. Losing a parent is a new experience for both my wife and me. Hopefully, we will not experience it again for a very long time.

Being away from our parents for over twenty years likely lessens their direct involvement in every part of our lives. There are those things that come to mind in different situations where internally we would ask, "What did Dad do in cases like this?" or "How did Mom fix this cake?"

Now that my father is gone I find that I think of his influence on my life all the more. When things happen I want to call him. It is like his influence has increased exponentially. Then I was browsing through CNN the other day and this article jumped out at me. It was about adults who are relieved when their parents die. At first I was shocked wondering how anyone could think this way. As my empathy returned, I was reminded that some people's relationship with their parents is not good- abusive, controlling, etc... I am thankful that I miss my Dad and am not relieved that he is gone.

For those who have had a parent die, do you find that their influence in your life has changed any? Please fill out the survey to the right so we can gain some insight.

Bryan

A return to lighter things in the next post- subliminal messages from our children.

I Did Fall Off The Face Of The Earth

Wow, how time flies! I had some great posts for the Christmas season, but for some reason they never made it to the blog. Did you think that I had been distracted from the blog world forever? Did I really fall off of the earth? Obviously not. But since you have been so patient, I thought I would give you one of my brightest ideas for teaching patience to my children.

I love it when children begin to finally play with toys, although we always seem to give them toys that they are too young to know what to do. There is always the old standby toy- building blocks. My children might be different from everyone else's. It seems that whenever I try to impress them with a great tower of building blocks, all they want to do is tear it down. So let the training begin...

When one of our children consistently knocked my tower down I introduced the word "wait" with a simple hand gesture of stop in front of the tower. After a few seconds, I then would say, " OK, knock it down." (That was easier for them than the wait) Surprisingly, after a few minutes of practice they figured it out. A few sessions of this and they were pros at the "wait" & "knock it down."

At the dinner table, some time later, our hungry tot began to grunt and yell indicating that the process of getting the food to him was not fast enough. A few minutes of that can really make a meal painful. But I am not too slow, I remembered the wait game and began to implement it immediately. Did it work perfectly?

As hard as it is to wait a moment to knock down a tower, I have learned that food holds more power. You know like the commercial that says, "Behold the power of CHEESE!" It has not been as easy, but slowly there is progress. I can go the long haul as long as there is progress.

How do you teach patience? Share it here in the comments so we can all benefit.

Bryan

Ways children make us proud

There is one thing better than catching your own children doing something right, and that is someone else catching them and telling you about it! It seems so easy for us to notice every wrong thing and scold them for it. We have all read lots about praising their every good effort, so they can see that we are pleased with them as well.

So, Sunday afternoon Luke tells Dawn that he helped Miss Eva clean up the room after Sunday School. Dawn asked him if Miss Eva asked him to help, and he said that she did not ask, he just wanted to help. Today I was talking to Eva and she tells me how helpful Luke was after Sunday School. Well, I probably do not have to tell you that I was more than proud.

Dawn has recently been going through a book with the kids called Getting Rid of the Whining and Complaining in You and Your Kids. It is really about honoring each other in the family and others as well. It was a perfect chance for Dawn to reinforce how pleased she was with him for honoring another.

How else can we show honor for the people in our families? We can do things like make a bed or leave a note anonymously. How about telling the whole family how proud we are of one of them? Do not forget to do that for each one along the way. Leave a comment of ways you have been honored or how you have honored another, so we can all do better.

Next time I want to share a list of TEN COMMANDMENTS for parents.

Blessings
Bryan

The Needs of Others

Character building in our children should be pretty high on the priority list for a focused family. Character is; however, one of those things that cannot be taught merely from a textbook. For our children to gain godly character they must see it in others.

They might see it in a Sunday School teacher or someone else at church. It might be picked up from a neighbor or family friend. But the people they live with are the ones that they hear the words and see the actions day in and day out. One of the challenges of homeschooling is that our children are home with us most of the time. What that means is if I misrepresent something to someone, the children take note. If I am lazy, guess who else becomes slow? You will notice that I am saying if because none of us are ever these things, right? Let's say that they catch us doing something good.

I'll give credit to Dawn for this one because I know that she is constantly speaking of the needs of others. I'll give credit to God as well because I see Him at work in the lives of my children. Here is the real story that I want to tell.

Through some friends at church we learned that a young lady in another community was struggling with a brain tumor. This was going on the same time that I was going through chemotherapy, so we it hit a little closer to home than usual. She and her husband have, I think, two small girls as well. Once we found out about this family, we began to pray for them at meal times. Over time there was no hope given for recovery, and then the young mother passed away.

Our prayers have changed now for their family. Grace, at five, still prays for the girls. Our oldest girls Abigail and Hannah recently chose to go beyond. It is OK to be proud of our children isn't it? The girls the other day gave two gift bags to our friend at church to give to the girls who lost their mother. As they showed me the bags the other day, I thought of character. Is character really worth much without action? When caring takes action it begins to minister to another. It touches a life. It says, "you are not alone."

God cared enough for the lost human race that He did something about it. What if He just would have sat in heaven and said, "What a pity for all those poor lost souls"? God's character is active and obvious. How do you measure character?

Bryan