Reconnecting With Your Spouse

Each person feels loved in different ways.  Some really feel loved when words of love are spoken.  Others feel loved when physical affection is present.  Still some feel loved when their spouse does some thoughtful action like a gift or making a special date.

At different times even in our Christian marriage we sense a distance between us our spouse.  It happens over a period of time.  It starts with a quietness now and then, and escalates to long term disconnection.  Unfortunately, it becomes easier just to go about doing our own thing and let our relationship stay as it is.  We all know that a plan like that never leads us closer.  It only leads us farther apart.  So what are we to do?  How can we reconnect in an meaningful way?

Although love is sometimes called the “Universal Language,” it can be interpreted in many different ways.  Your path to reconnection in your marriage is through love that can be communicated in a way that your spouse understands.


The key lies in asking God to help you learn what it takes for your spouse to understand your love for them.  If touch tells them they are loved, touch them.  If they are really responsive to you after you have left them a note, write more.

We tend to show love the way we understand love, but it does not mean the same thing to someone else.  We need to communicate to our spouse about what certain things that they do which help us feel loved, and then turn that off so that it doesn’t hinder how we are to love them.

This often can be a point of contention in marriage, and people do not even realize it.  Nobody guesses at what the problem is, they just don’t feel loved.  If you get this right, you will be on the road to reconnecting.  It might take a little while, but it will happen.

I believe it was Dr. Gary Chapman who coined the phrase “Love Language” and taught us about how we receive love.  Reconnect with your spouse today by communicating your love for them in a language they can understand.