Selfish............ not shell fish............Selfish
Most problems in marriage begin with selfishness.
"You don't understand me." "I am not happy" "I need some me time." "I am going in a different direction."
Now, I understand that people go in different directions. I realize that it's possible not to be happy, but once we were going the same direction and once we were happy. What changed? Life changes, and it changes all the time.
In the movie, Fireproof, they made it very clear that stuff happens in life that brings us to a place where we cannot see any hope in the future for our marriage. Our differences can lead us to differing conclusions. Our desires for the way things need to be are contrary. Our thinking can easily turn to, "What I think is more valuable than what you think." Before you know it, the end of our marriage is in sight. The key to remedy this is as they show in Fireproof is- overcoming selfishness.
We are afraid of being taken advantage of. We're afraid of not getting taken care of. The old adage for marriage was 50/50. I'll give half. You give half. That will make the whole. The truth is that we each need to give 100% to our spouse if it's going to work.
Here are some thoughts:
-Refrain from blaming the problems on your spouse. Marriage problems are "our" problems.
-Think and act everyday on the question, "How can I do something to bless my spouse today?"
-Don't be afraid to dialog about concerns that you have in your relationship, but be open to understanding and working with your spouse.
-Let small issues stay small issues by addressing them before they become huge.
-Make sure that you are everything that you need to be before you start to make your spouse accountable to what they need to be.
Yes, life changes. You are changing physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If we can live this life together with our spouse, we will ride out the changes in life and be a team that overcomes. The first thing that must be faced. . . . . . . . . . . . selfishness.
2 comments:
Hi Brian
Back, and nice to see this article. Have been enjoying a 2 week feast with my family as well. It's has been good to re-connect after being away. Will talk to you soon.
Like the Audio stream - Tell me how you do that some day.
its true life changes. but its exciting.
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