Art Saves Christmas

Art and his wife, Connie, get real tense around Christmas. He never gets her what she really wants, he can never figure out what she would like. Beyond that, they often forget to tell each other when the work parties and school plays are scheduled. The holidays are a big headache for them.

This year Art changes his strategy.

"I noticed that you take that purse everyday" he interjects. He is actually observing his wife's activities for a change. He is also fishing for more information.

She answers, "Ya, I love this old thing. It has always been my favorite, but it is really getting beat up."

Art takes note of the purse color and features. Now he is on to something.

After work one day, he comes home with some scratch paper that has dates for the company party and his family's Christmas dinner date and time. "Connie," he calls "here is a couple of dates that I would really like to make sure we get to this year. Lets sit down tonight and put down the ones that you know about so we don't miss anything."

"Wow! Could he actually be thinking ahead?!" Connie notices the strange, new Art. "Yes, I'll be home after the parent/teacher meeting around 8."

Let's zip to the end of this story before it gets to long...

Art stands for articulate. It means to communicate. We operate so much on assumption that when things don't work like we thought we end in frustration. What are the essentials to communicating well?


-Say what you mean

-Listen to the other person repeating back to them what they said with a "Did you
mean..." at the beginning

-Ask questions in a "I want to know more about you" kind of way because you
really do.

-Seek first to understand, then to be understood (From Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People)

It is so easy to get out of the habit of communicating well. Some people think that if the other person really loved me, they would just know. Well, that is awfully unrealistic. On the other hand, if we really do care about someone, we will pay attention to their lives enough to know them better. We can always ask questions to clarify.

Save your family this Holiday Season....communicate!