Toddlers and Tantrums

A regular day of parenting can be filled with joy, peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment; or screaming, tantrums, yelling, and fight for control, or all the above. Wow, your poor kids have to put up with a lot! No, we know it’s always the children who get out of control, right?

Boy #1 comes up from the basement with the coolest wooden toy gun in our house. Not long after boy #2 strolls from the bedroom after a really good nap. Boy #2 sees toy gun and must think, “I deserve that toy gun.” The fight is on…

I have learned a new trick. You’d think I had all the tricks after seven children. I have really been trying to have more patience, and not much else can try my patience like a wide open mouthed tantrum. So our youngest, even when handled with the best of patience, gets bent out of shape over not getting his way. It seems to be an everyday, every hour event.

Since his two-year old mind cannot listen to reason, especially in a tantrum, we began to take him to his room with gentle instruction not to come out until he has stopped crying. It actually worked. Within minutes he comes strolling out of his room. His eyes are still red and puffy and his little nose running some, but he is not crying. He went in the room and changed his attitude. How can it get any better? It does!

A few days later something happens to try his patience, and he erupts, only this time he blows us all away. Remarkably, this little guy goes to his room on his own. Did you read that right. He went to his room on his own because he was in a tantrum. He returned in a few minutes after he stopped crying and stared where he had left off in the activity. My oldest son shouts, “I love this kid!”

I have read in many books about helping our kids learn to control themselves and respond to situations by showing them the correct responses. Now, I am no expert, but I did see that work in action. Walking away may not always be the best response, but for a toddler getting to a place where we can change our behavior is huge. Sometimes we fall into success. How else can I model good responses for my children?